The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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