why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
