I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
