I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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