What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
