One girl and one boy is just not enough.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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