I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
