At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize