Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
