She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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