it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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