When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I have fence marks all over my body
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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