please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I intend to get homeless drunk
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
