even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
