we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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