He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
