I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
