my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
