16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I AM VODKA MAN
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
