we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
