no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My life is pants optional.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
