how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize