i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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