Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
