Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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