Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
