My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
