Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
