people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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