4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
