I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
