So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
