took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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