so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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