found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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