Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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