My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
