we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
