i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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