My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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