I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
