loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize