Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
