and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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