He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
