i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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