i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
