Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
