she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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