don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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