OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize