But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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