Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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