ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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