no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
