Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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