she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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