Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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