the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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