if i can run in heels then i can drive
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
