dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
